apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
