Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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