I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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