Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
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