oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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