i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I cockslap morals
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
