Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
