My sheets look like a crime scene.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
