You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
