i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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