i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
