I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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