I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
