the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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