I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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