I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
