All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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