I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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