I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize