Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
