I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She said her name was "party"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My ass is underappreciated
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
