Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
if only i could text you this smell
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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