I am in a vortex of obligation.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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