At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
