I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
