i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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