Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
