I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
