Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
