How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
that's an acceptable place to lick
what day is it and did you see me today?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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