finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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