operation harelip BJ is a go
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
