I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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