god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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