I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
