I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
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He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
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first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.