turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My balls are so social today.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.