he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.