You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
