I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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