Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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