oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
