I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
