if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
