You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
They have beer where we have blood.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
