you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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