I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
