Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Randomize
