STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize