no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
