I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He has the fingertips of a God
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