This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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