I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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