They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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