found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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