Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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