Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
